Be a Roommate, not a Parent.

April 10, 2021

I want independence for my loved one, but how?! I’ve been thinking about this question a lot… because so many of you have asked me to teach more on independence. And, I’m coming out with training next week for you.
But, today, I want to give you an impactful strategy that has worked with my family and hundreds of other families that I’ve coached… the roommate mindset.
For your loved one to become more independent, you have to change your thinking and approach, and the roommate mindset can help your loved one grow their independence to heights you never thought possible. (It sure has for my sister!)
Click the video below to learn more.

Leave a comment below! What connected with you in this video?

  • This is a great way to help alter our “caregiver mindset” We are working on laundry and unloading the dishwasher.

  • Roomate concept is very helpful. It makes you wait for them to do it themselves if they don’t want to do it themselves at that time

  • As I have started apply this “roommate principle” more and my awareness has increased I have realized that I do this thing -> I ANTICIPATE needs, consequences, problems etc….when I start to do that now it’s serving as my red flag to stop and ask myself – “Is this what I would think for a roommate?” most often it is not or if there is some resistance I stop and reflect on that so I can get to the root of what’s happening inside me. When it feels like too steep of a cliff to jump off of (for me or for my son) I ask myself – What would 4 % be on this and I can usually identify a step to take that moves us forward to more independence. I am now vowing to stop doing the anticipation dance!!!

  • I like the idea of dividing up the responsibilities. Now to find the first responsibility that they would be willing to try to do.
    I’d be interested in the training module you mentioned for next week.

  • Hi Eric. Independence is definitely one of goals for my 22 year daughter with autism. I like the idea of the roommate mindset. Thanks for sharing the video.

  • We have empowered our son to do his own laundry, makes his own bed and keeps his room tidy and dusted. He unloads dishwasher without being asked. We continue to work on the stove skill. He uses a toaster oven and microwave on his own. Starting to teach him the air fryer. He can make a pizza on his own from start to finish with the oven but needs more confidence in other oven use. He pays with his debit card and logs his purchases in his checking ledger. He is learning online banking to check his accounts. Baby steps are paying off.

  • As always you have returned our focus to simple and common sense small steps that involve and motivate our loved ones! Thank you

  • This is April break for us (in lieu of March Break). I want to start using more of this roommate mindset this week and see how it goes. So many good ideas Eric. Thank you!

  • The roommate mindset really helped us when, from 2004 to 2009, we supported our daughter in preparing to move from our home into her own home. Over time, she became responsible for more and more things, with support, of course. This year, she celebrates 12 years of living in her own home. The roommate mindset certainly helped to get things off on the right foot.

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